EFFECTIVE BOUNDARIES
OWNING AND CHERISHING YOUR LIFE
Boundaries are limits, choices, values and
principles that define who I am and who you are.
principles that define who I am and who you are.
Boundaries establish healthy, intimate relationships. Conflict, confrontation and disharmony are lessened when we share with clarity, autonomy and honesty. We have the ability to say 'yes' when we mean 'yes' and 'no' when we mean 'no'.
Boundaries can be: physical, emotional, psychological, financial, sexual and spiritual in nature. Boundaries help us to inform others how we will be treated and not. Boundaries are flexible, not rigid. Boundaries define the difference between you and me. They create a self that others know what to expect from us and us of them.
When we respect and know who we are, we can speak out and stand up for ourselves. Self hood is defined by the boundaries that we each have that define who we are. To live without boundaries is to feel unprotected, unsupported and unsafe in our own skin.
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To be without boundaries we may find ourselves sacrificing,
feeling controlled or controlling, submissive, off balance, feeling lost, and in relationships that are unequal. The alternative to this is people pleasing, compliance, self- sacrifice and feelings of anger and resentment. Last resorts of poor or non-existent boundaries appear in acts of bullying, violence, weight change, illness, distancing, passive aggressive behavior, frustration and death.
With clear boundaries we have a strong sense of self and autonomy and can master visionary leadership, in our lives and as an example for others.
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